tempory relievement and temper

Finally figured out what is going on.  Feeling so stupid about it.  It is always this way.  It is just something so simple, something that requires careful thinking, while I was simply blinded by it.  The phone call from a friend actually depressed me. Don't even want to finish this blogging.


On-lookers can always have a clear mind of what is right and what is wrong.  I know I will simply laugh at others if the same thing happened to others.  Anger control is what I need.  I probably is just as bad as other and as greedy as the most. Feeling a bit guilty about the attitude to the in-laws.  How far am I from good or how far am I from mean?

Depressed

Wandering aimlessly, but always kept busy.  No life, no career, no happiness.  Why? Maybe just a bad day...  Feeling so fragile, doing routine everyday with the unsecured feeling haunting me all the time.  If I push myself a bit harder things might look better? or worse?  Maybe what's needed is to relax instead of to push?  Tiring myself out but without results, failure becomes the word writing cross my life.  So pathetic.  Well, tomorrow will be a better day.

Get up on wrong side of the bed

Not in a good mood from the very morning.  Frustrated by the so many bad habits and the dim future, furious with the lazy, dumb hubby, totally in a low spirit.  Maybe this is just a temporary depression.  Things will get better.  

Why blogging

Why blogging anyway.  I don't know.  I never understand why people ever want to put their thoughts on line, at least why real feelings.  I know I am a shy person and blogging is totally not my thing.  I can email myself, talk to myself but blog... hmm, not really me.  Well, maybe I can call this the result of impulse.

Most likely I will be too lazy to update this blog and eventually turn it a recycled space.  What happened to my MSN blog, oh, right, I have one sentence blog the first day and long updated blog after a race the last and final time.  Many of the thoughts just went by, why bother.  If it is something important I can remember.  If I don't even care to remember I don't care it anyway.

Okay, now that I  have  a start I can wander off to something else.  So long...